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Showing posts from 2005

My Holiday Season This Year :)

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Guess I'd better get busy recapping the holiday season before it's over huh? Teehee, it's been crazy busy but soooooo much fun!

I got into the holiday spirit the weekend before the actual holiday by spending all day Saturday baking holiday goodies at Billy's house. Billy just bought this place and his "new house" gift to himself was to trick out the kitchen with a double convection oven and a gas cook top instead of the electric one that was originally in the house. The group included Jules and Cyndi and Randy (although Cyndi and Randy weren't there for anything more than moral support, kitchen bitch help, and taste testing.) Baking all day in that kitchen was like a dream and I can't wait to do it again next year! We came off with some very easy but very tasty treats and one of these days soon I'll post the recipes we ended up liking. Stay tuned for that update...

The Christmas holiday celebration began for us the Tuesday night before the actual ho…

Damn Kids!

My Shelly sent this to me and while I realize it's similar to something I've posted before, it's enough different that it's definitely worth putting out here. Hope y'all enjoy! :)

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning ... uphill BOTH ways...yadda, yadda, yadda. I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it. But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it.

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the internet. If we wanted to know somethin…

I Laughed at the Pope Because I'm Horny?

This is some seriously silly shit right here, but I couldn't resist sharing. This one I ganked from Drkgodes on myspace and it made me giggle. Y'all feel free to post your own results...

Pick the month you were born:

January- I crapped
February- I slapped
March- I murdered
April- I looked at
May- I masturbated with
June- I slept with
July- I laughed at
August- I stabbed
September- I shot
October- I made love to
November- I wrestled
December- I had sex with

Now pick the day of your birth

1. A prostitute
2. An Asian
3. A Woman with HIV
4. A drunken black man
5. Santa Clause
6. A playboy bunny
7. A married mom
8. My stuffed bunny
9. Your mom
10. The Easter Bunny
11. A football player
12. A porn star
13. My lettermans Jacket
14. My teacher
15. The Rock
16. A DVD player
17. A pencil sharpener
18. The homeless guy
19. My computer
20. Your house
21. The tape measurer
22. The Lamp
23. The pope
24. Governor Swartenegar
25. Mr. Incredible
26. A transvestite
27. The Devil
28. Your hot sister
29. George Bush
30. A tape recorder
31. …

Song Names...

Here's a little something that I ganked from Shang_Shi's myspace bulletin. I thought it was fun and worth passing on. Y'all feel free to gank it and make it your own!

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Tell me what the first song that comes to your mind when you read what its for...

1. Hate song? I Hate Myself for Loving You - Joan Jett

2. Love song? Freelove - Depeche Mode

3. Crush or Flirt song? I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend - Ramones

4. Fuck song? International Lover - Prince

5. Goofy song? The Bad Touch - Bloodhound Gang

6. Dance song? Anything by Depeche Mode

7. Rage song? Head like a Hole - NIN

8. Slow song? Unforgettable - Nat and Natlie Cole

9. Make-up Song? Let's Stay Together - Al Green

10. Redneck song? The Perfect Country Song - David Allen Coe

11. Make-out song? Let's Get It On - Marvin Gaye

12. Break-up song? User Friendly - Marilyn Manson

13. Happy song? It's a Small World - Disney

14. Sad song? Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd

15. Corny song? I Touch Myself - The Divinyls

A Final Xmas post

Here's one more "Night Before" version that I couldn't help but steal from Da Jules. Y'all enjoy!

Twas the night before the party
When all through the town,
No pigs were stirring,
No cops were around.
We drank segrams & smoked panama reds,
While visions of the munchies danced through our heads.
When all of a sudden came a knock at the door...
We all yelled "Pigs!" & hit the floor.
But what to our red glazed eyes did appear...
A pound of columbian with 2 kegs of beer.
The man at the door, he gave us a smile
So we said, "Come on in man,
You should party a while."
But we heard him exclaim as he flew through the sky...
MARIJUANA TO ALL & TO ALL A GREAT HIGH!!!

A Little Xmas Meme

Here's one I stole from Da Jules' myspace bulletin...y'all feel free to gank and post it if you feel like it. Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday!!! :)

SOME STRANGE QUESTIONS

1. Something purple within 5 feet of you:
My lavender robe because apparently in mainstream retail women should only wear pastels...bleah!

2. Now something green:
There are some houseplants on the bar. :)

3. Your nails were last painted:
In early November during our anniversary celebration.

4. The weirdest thing you've ever heated in the microwave?
Nothing particularly wierd is springing to mind.

5. How much Japanese do you know?
Very very few words.

11. Least favorite color?
Lime green.

12. Ever had Dippin' Dots?
No.

13. Ever played an instrument?
Yeah I was forced to take piano lessons as a kid.

14. Ever had a H2O massage?
No.

15. Do you believe in bigfoot?
Yes, definitely!

16. Ever been to a palm reader?
I've had friends do it but never paid for the service.

17. Last Pez dispenser you purchased?
I bought some…

More Xmas Cheer!

Here's a card for everyone, have a wonderful day today!


http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=0212320003

Twas the Night Before Gothmas

Here's a classic that's one of my all-time favs. Hope everyone has a wonderful holiday!!!

Twas The Night Before Gothmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through our house
Was blasting the "St. Vitus Dance" by Bauhaus;
Torn fishnets were draped on my forearms with care,
And two cans of Aquanet applied to my hair;
My thoughts were of graveyards, and horror and dread,
Black visions of pain and despair in my head;
And Bianca, whose face was as pale as the moon,
Had thrown up her arm for this evening's swoon,
When out by the gravestones there came such a clatter,
I sprang from the coffin to find out the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a ghost,
Expecting to find a dark devilish host.
The moon on the breast of the uncaring snow
Threw ominous shadows on objects below,
When, before my tormented eyes did traverse,
But a gorgeous black Crane & Breed carved-panel hearse,
With a gaunt, shrouded driver, who filled me with fear,
And eight skeletal creatures that might hav…

Christmas lights rule!

I'll bet this house gets really annoying after a while though...enjoy!

Musical Lights

Merry Xmas everyone!!!

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Hope everyone gets what they want this year! Lots of love to you all!

Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

I really thought that pride would win out but apparently greed won by a nose. Thanks to the Cap'n for this!

Greed:High
Gluttony:High
Wrath:High
Sloth:Medium
Envy:Medium
Lust:High
Pride:High


Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

What Type of Lesbian Are You?

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I absolutely couldn't resist doing this quiz when I saw it at The Cap's Place. Thanks for finding this, Cap'n! :)

You scored as The Femme Fatale. You're carefree, dark and adventurous...and slightly fatale to the heart.The Femme Fatale75%The Pretty-Boi Dyke65%The Vaginal-Reference-Making Dyke60%The Little-Boy Dyke50%The Stud50%The Student Dyke45%The Magic Earring Ken Dyke35%The Surprise! Dyke35%The Quasi-Gothic Femme30%The Sprightly Elfin Femme25%The Granola Dyke20%The Bohemian Dyke10%The Hipster Dyke0%
What Type of Lesbian Are You? (Inspired by Curve Mag.)
created with QuizFarm.com

Happy Yule!

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I raise a glass to the rebirth of the sun and hope that everyone feels hopeful for the season ahead! Cheers!

Which LOTR Character Are You?

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I found this little gem on Army of Mom's site this morning and couldn't resist. It's a little long for a quiz of this type but I'm geeky enough that I had to do it anyway. Teehee. :)

Legolas
You scored 29% Sturdyness, 80% Influence, 74% Supernatural, and 11% Evil!
You are Legolas, elven archer and member of the Fellowship. You have
sworn to aid the cause of destroying the ring. You have incredible
agility, speed and senses, and your bow has slain many a foe. If you
gain friends, your help would be the best one could hope for.
Link: The LOTR Character Test written by NoxTyger on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Fun Quickie Jokes

Here are some good, short jokes for y'all. Thanks again to Dolly for giving me blogfodder this week! :)

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts.

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the d…

New Seat Belt

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Thanks to my friend Dolly for sending this one my way...definitely worth sharing! :)

The National Highway Safety Council has done extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt. Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed. Correct installation is illustrated below...

Jules has new ink!

Jules and I ventured over to NW Fort Worth last night to see Freeway (who is one of my oldest friends) and get her new ink. I also got to get her Pancho's cherry at dinner...how is it possible that a 28-year-old who has lived here since 6th grade has never eaten there??? She liked it, I knew she would. :) If you wanna check out the new ink, here's the link to the pix!

Jules' new tat

Word Association

The challenge is to put the first thing that comes to mind when you hear each of these words...

1. Money - Yes, please. :)

2. Sex - Woohoo!

3. Relationship - I have lots.

4. Your last ex - Ugh, don't get me started!

5. Power - Muahahahahahaha!

6. Marijuana - Anyone got some?

7. Crack - Just say no!

8. Food - Not now, still having coffee.

9. The President - Not my president!

10. War - Make it stop!

11. Cars - A Gary Neuman song springs to mind.

12. Gas Prices - Getting better...

13. Oral Sex - Ummy yummy.

14. Politics - Please leave me out of it.

15. Religion - Brainwashing.

16. Plastic - Fake.

17. Myspace - Online crack aka The Borg. (Yes, this is where this little thing came from.)

18. Worst Fear - Dying alone.

19. Marriage - Challenging.

20. Fashion - Fun!

Thanks to Jules for posting this on her Myspace. :)

I know it's been a while since I posted anything real.

And there's a reason for that. My life is in a pretty serious flux right now and I'm not sure what to say. As soon as I can organize my thoughts and actually have something to report, I'll get back to you guys.

I've been assimilated!

I've finally ceded to the pressure and set up a Myspace account. I still think it's chunky and cumbersome, and I still hate MS products, fyi. Still tho, I've already found a couple of long lost friends on there so all is not lost. :) You guys can check it out if you want to:

Jenniferous

Sex Frogs?

It looks like I have a new source of funnies: my friend Joy. Thanks for this, girlie!

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A young lady, goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of live frogs.

The sign says: "Sex Frogs! Only $20 each! Money Back Guarantee! Comes with complete instructions."

The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her and whispers softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll take one."

The man packages the frog and says, "Just follow the instructions." The girl nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.

As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she reads the instructions and reads them very carefully. She does exactly what is specified:

1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.
4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you and allow the frog to follow its training.

She then quickly gets int…

Here's a Good One

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I like the way this shop owner thinks! Thanks to Joy for sending this my way. :)

RIP John Lennon...a day late, oops

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I realize that since yesterday was the actual anniversary of his death, I should have posted this then. Ah well, it's the thought that counts! I miss him and I remember when he was shot. I cried and then eventually did a research paper on his killer in high school. What a nutbag, I must say! Anyway, I salute John Lennon and his life well-lived. We miss you man! :-(

Why Math is Taught in School

Cyndi sent this to me and I couldn't resist posting it...this is a very wise man right here! LOL!

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I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her.

This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and gave the woman the finger.

"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself.

I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why I drive 48 miles each way every day to work. That's 96 miles each day.

Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.

There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.

That brings the number to some…

40 Questions About 2005

I can't believe Jules actually made a new post, and during finals week at that! Anyway, I had to gank it because it's a quiz-like thing and I can't resist them...

40 questions about 2005.

1) Was 2005 a good year for you? for the most part, yes

2) What was your favorite moment of the year? hard to narrow it down to just one so I'm going to go with the series of "Bitchy Birthday" event tradition. Any excuse to wear a boa and tiara in public is all good with me!

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year? thinking I was going to leave Barry

4) Where were you when 2005 began? at Nancy & Vince's NYE party

5) Who were you with? rode with Barry, Jules, and Billy and there were many other friends there

6) Where will you be when 2005 ends? at Billy's and I can't wait!

7) Who will you be with when 2005 ends? some of the same people as last NYE but then we've added some friends to our group and the Cap'n will be in from Houston this year!

8) Did y…

What Awful Book am I?

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I ganked this quiz from Kurt so he's responsible. It's funny tho, I really tried to read the LOTR series and was bored to tears so I didn't make it through. I'm entertained. :)





take the WHAT BAD BOOK ARE YOU test.


and go to mewing.net. not as good as reading a good book, but way better than a bad one.

Updated blogroll

I've added some new links to my blogroll and reorganized the list. The heavy posters are at the top and the less frequent posters are at the bottom...nothing personal you guys! Y'all enjoy the new stuff. :)

Finally got my Thanksgiving :)

One of our friends that works with B gifted us with a good chunk of fried turkey so I cooked up a Thanksgiving feast last nite for dinner. Ahhhhh, *now* I feel like I had a holiday. Thanks Tanya! :)

An interesting spin on Christianity

Cyndi was kind enough to share this article from this month's Harper's magazine with me and it's a terrific read! It's 9 pages so make sure you have a block of time to read it. Hope you guys enjoy! :)

Lighting a candle

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I am joining Andy in lighting this candle against the darkness of ignorance. I encourage everyone reading this blog to write a letter or make a call on this issue. Hopefully we can make a difference!

Entertainment News: The weekend update

Here's how our Thanksgiving weekend shaped up this year...

Thursday we were originally invited to my sis's house in the country but then my brother-in-law remembered that he was mad at me and uninvited us. Ah well, didn't wanna have to put up with his scary hillbilly redneck ass anyway. B slept in til 2pm and I farted around on the computer all day. Our meal ended up being breakfast food at about 4ish and then we escaped to the club that evening. It was a relaxing day but didn't feel at all like Thanksgiving which is kinda sad to me. :-(

Friday B had to work, so I arranged to work as well. My therapist has generously agreed to trade services with me during my period of no insurance, so I did office work for her all day Friday. It's quite the project she's got going there so we're talking about getting me some money to help her finish it. Hope this doesn't mess up my unemployment pittance! :)

Friday night Cyndi and Jules came over to spend the weekend with …

Countdown

I ganked this from a completely unrelated blog that I've never visited before but I liked it enough to do it. Y'all feel free to gank it...enjoy!

10 movies you'd watch over and over:

1. Heavy Metal (yes, I'm talking about the animated one)
2. Rocky Horror Picture Show (and I talk to the movie too!)
3. Velvet Goldmine (because bois in makeup are just a good thing)
4. Priscilla Queen of the Desert (anyone noticing a fag hag theme going here?)
5. Labyrinth (mmmm David Bowie in tights)
6. Princess Bride (been crushing on Carey Elwes for too long)
7. Spinal Tap (truly a cult classic)
8. The Hunger (David Bowie and Catherine Deneuve as vampires, can you say Jenni sammich?)
9. Wizard of Oz (really this one should have been higher on the list...)
10. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (the original animated one with Boris Karloff narrating, yay!)

9 people you enjoy the company of (aside from family):

1. Barry (I loves my pretty blonde boi!)
2. Jules (My favorite crunchy granola pagan lesbitaria…

This about sums it up

Here's an excellent joke about the Bush administration...unfortunately it's all too true. Thanks to Cyndi for this! :)

How many members of the Bush administration does it take to change a light bulb?

Ten.

1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed;

2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed;

3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb;

4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either for changing the light bulb or for eternal darkness;

5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb;

6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner 'Bulb Accomplished';

7. One administration insider to resign and in detail reveal how Bush was literally 'in the dark' the whole time;

8. One to viciously smear No. 7;

9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing poli…

Happy Thanksgiving!

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Here's a little humor for everyone today. I hope that each and every one of you has a fabulous day!

Cup O Elvis?

Okay so my Shelly was competely out of control today, but this link was too good not to share...

http://www.elviscoffee.com/

Walk The Line

I liked the movie but don't just take my word for it. Check out what his former manager had to say about it...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10145077/

Thanks to my Shelly for this who apparently had way too much time on her hands at work today. :)

Cool Optical Illusion

My Shelly was killing time at work today and sent me this link. It's kinda freaky how the brain works...

http://www.patmedia.net/marklevinson/cool/cool_illusion.html

Alabama Blonde

My sister sent this one to me and I couldn't help but share. Hope y'all enjoy! :)

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Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman from Alabama arrives and bets twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She says, "I hope y'all don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."

With that, she strips from the neck down, rolls the dice and yells, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"

As the dice come to a stop she jumps up and down and squeals, "I WON, I WON!"

She hugs each of the dealers and then picks up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departs. The dealers stare at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asks, "What did she roll?" The other answers, "I don't know, I thought you were watching."

Moral:

Not all people from Alabama are stupid and not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.

Twas the Night Before Thanksgiving

Twas the night before Thanksgiving and all through the kitchen;
I was cooking and baking and moanin' and bitchin'.
I've been here for hours, I can't stop to rest;
this room's a disaster, just look at this mess!
Tomorrow I've got thirty people to feed.
They expect all the trimmings. Who cares what I need!
My feet are both blistered; I've got cramps in my legs.
The cat just knocked over a bowl full of eggs.
There's a knock at the door and the telephone's ringing;
frosting drips on the counter as the microwave's dinging.
Two pies in the oven, dessert's almost done;
my cookbook is soiled with butter and crumbs.
I've had all I can stand, I can't take anymore;
Then in walks my husband, spilling rum on the floor.
He weaves and he wobbles, his balance unsteady;
then grins as he chuckles "The eggnog is ready!"
He looks all around and with total regret,
says "What's taking so long....aren't you through in here yet??"
As quick as a fl…

Entertainment News: My busy weekend :)

This weekend flew by and is like a blur when I try to recreate it in my head. Let's see if I can remember it all...

Friday was my sister and my nephew's birthday (she had him on her 30th so it's really easy for me to remember how old he is, LOL!). Their family dog got hit and killed about a month ago and they've all been feeling the loss. Deb especially when she's had to go to the barn by herself...she'd prefer to at least have an animal with her to protect her from wild critters who may have wandered into the shelter of the barn. She decided that for her birthday she wanted to get a new family dog. Deb discovered Craig's List and got her geek on all day Friday checking out possible dogs to adopt. She finally landed on a 3.5 year old golden retreiver named Cinnamon who was free to a good home but lived east of Plano. This is the part where I came in because I love my sissy but the poor thing gets lost every single time she comes to Dallas. (I can't reall…

Which Soldier Type Are You?

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Got this one via The Cap'n and Kurt. Heh, I'm sure these results come as no surprise to anyone including me. LOL!

You scored as Civilian. You're a civilian. Not a soldier, period. You don't enjoy fighting. And more or less think all the people who do are retards who need to use thier brains more than their brawn. Beware the day will come when even peace lovers and buddhist monks will pick up shotguns in defence.

PEACE OUT!!!

Civilian88%Officer69%Medic63%Special Ops56%Combat Infantry50%Artillery44%Support Gunner38%Engineer31%
Which soldier type are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Which Peanuts Character Are You?

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Ganked this post from Kurt, I love this comic strip! Honestly I thought I was going to end up being Lucy so this came as a surprise to me... :)


You are Snoopy!


Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

One more Veteran's Day thought...

My friend Brian sent this to me and I just had to share it with you guys. I know I'm a little late but this is most definitely worth sharing. Read the story and then watch the video, it's worth the two minutes!

http://www.terry-kelly.com/introduction.htm

Happy Veteran's Day!

Just wanted to give a shout out to all the men and women who selflessly go into dangerous places and fight without question. I sure do wish we had some better orders for our current troops because I'd love to see all of them come home. Thanks to everyone who has given their youth to serve our country, I admire you in ways that you cannot imagine. :)

Marriage humor

Thought I'd better post a little humor to lighten things up around here. Got this from a girl at work and it's hillarious! :)

Marriage (Part I)

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules.

Any comments?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."

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Marriage (Part II)

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!

$20.00

My Shelly sent this to me today and I *really* needed to hear it. :)


A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?"

Hands started going up.

He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this."

He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill.

He then asked, "Who still wants it?"

Still the hands were up in the air.

Well, he replied, "What if I do this?"

And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty.

"Now, who still wants it?"

Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value."

It was still worth $20.

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circ…

How did we survive?

I've started reading a newly discovered blog recently and thought I'd post this little gem that my Shelly sent me a while back. This one's for you, Guy, I think you'll appreciate it!

If you lived as a child in the 50's, 60's or 70's how did you survive?

Looking back, it's hard to believe that we have lived as long as we have...

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat.

Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paint. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors, or cabinets, and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets.

(Not to mention hitchhiking to town as a young kid!)

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. Horrors.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then rode down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times we learned to solve the proble…

A little baby humor :)

My Shelly sent me this link today and knew that I would appreciate it since I'm an avid non-breeder. Be forewarned, if you're the type of person that loves each and every baby on the planet just because they're there, do NOT follow this link. I personally think it's pretty hillarious...

http://www.babyreview.com/

Entertainment news: The anniversary celebration

We had a truly fantastic weekend celebrating our anniversary! Three whole days of playing, woohoo!

Thursday night B started the celebration by heading to the club with Jules to blow off steam from the week. I ended up staying home that night since my back was still in 12 million little knots from being out earlier in the week. :-(

Friday morning B slept in while I went and signed on with yet another placement agency to try and get myself some more permanent work. In the afternoon/evening we had ourselves a spa day including massages, manicures and pedicures. Ahhhhh, a massage is exactly what my back needed to be psuedo functional again! :) We treated ourselves to an eating adventure that night and went to a fondue restaurant in Addison. I ate so much I literally thought I was going to pop but the food was awesome and the dining itself was so fun!

Saturday I got up early to wait for the satellite guy to come hook up the existing dish on the roof of our building. He had the inevitable dela…

A real post...*gasp*

Since it's officially been long enough since I posted an actual update that I only have jokes and emails in my "last 10" list, I guess I'm overdue. Sorry folks, I'm not trying to hold out here.

This was week two at my contract job and I must say that I'm terminally bored with the project already. I'm working in the foreclosure department of a large lender but I'm working with all the Katrina-affected accounts. This team has been formed to try to find the people who have not called in since the storm, to do the 4-month payment deferrment on the accounts that need the time to regroup, and to write off the accounts that were destroyed by flooding and didn't have flood insurance. In theory that all sounds very noble and maybe if I was being allowed to do something besides skip tracing every day then I wouldn't be over it so quickly. The scary part is that there's potentially phone work involved with this assignment and it's going to be hear…

I needed to hear this today

With all the stress in my life right now, country Shelli sent me the perfect thing to think about. I had to share it here:

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Thanksgiving greetings

Country Shelli sent this to me and ohmigawd, it's too funny! Hope y'all enjoy!

Disco Turkey

Inner peace

My stepmom shared this with me and I'm thinking it's some pretty good advice. :)

By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil Show, I have finally found inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started.

So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house this morning I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bottle of Baileys, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreo's, a pot of coffee, the rest of the Cheesecake, some Saltines and a box of Godiva Chocolates.

Political lessons

Here's a gem from Billy that I *had* to share!

DEMOCRATIC You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbra Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announce…

Maybe I'm wrong but I think this is hillarious!

My Shelly sent me this and I couldn't help passing it on to you guys. You gotta love this woman's timing...

http://www.breitbart.com/news/2005/10/27/D8DGIS500.html

Getting to know me

I got another one of these questionnaires in my inbox today but since it's from a very old friend that I rarely hear from, I thought I'd go ahead and do it. This one's for you, Sheridan! :)

1. What is your occupation? The dreaded mortgage industry
2. What color is your underwear? Turquoise snake skin
3. What are you listening to right now? CSI in the background
4. What is the last thing you ate? string cheese at my desk this afternoon
5. Do you wish on stars? Sometimes
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Periwinkle :)
7. What is the weather like right now? Chilly, it's cuddling weather!
8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My Punkin aka Barry
9. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yeppers, very much.
10. How old were you on your last birthday? 36
11. Favorite drink? Cherry vodka sour
12. Favorite sport to watch? Not a big sports fan but I do like watching the oddball ones like horseback riding and pool tournaments and I'm trying to get into hockey.
1…

It's been a wonderful year!

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Happy first anniversary to my adorable hubby!

This is what we looked like at the wedding:



And this is us on our honeymoon in N'Awlins:



I love you, my Punkin!

How average am I?

Here's a little number that I ganked from Kurt, here's a link to his post:

How average are you?

• Eats peanut butter at least once a week
• Prefers smooth peanut butter over chunky (Ewwww, chunky pb yuck!)
• Can name all Three Stooges
• Lives within a 20-minute drive of a Wal-Mart
• Eats at McDonald's at least once a year
• Takes a shower for approximately 10.4 minutes a day
• Never sings in the shower (I even spare myself that misery...)
• Lives in a house, not an apartment or condominium (Man, I wish!)
• Has a home valued between $100,000 and $300,000 (I'm sure my apartments are worth that much...)
• Has fired a gun (I'm curious but haven't done it yet)
• Is between 5 feet and 6 feet tall
• Weighs 135 to 205 pounds (I actually weigh in less than that.)
• Is between the ages of 18 and 53
• Believes gambling is an acceptable entertainment option (As long as it's in moderation, yes)
• Grew up within 50 miles of current home

Goth Trading Card Game

Teehee, thanks to Billy for finding this one!

http://www.necaonline.com/nbctcg/

My blogroll

I'm not the type of blogger that spends time surfing blogs or tracking my hits, although I see that I do get quite a few hits every day. If you are a regular reader and want to be added to my blogroll, please comment or drop me a line and let me know so that I can go check out your blog. I'm more than happy to send people your way! :)

Business news: Job update

It didn't take me long to find income, yay! I've got a contract gig starting on Monday for $.25/hour less than I was making at my last job which isn't bad at *all* for a temp gig. The contract is 3-6 months and if I find something else I can terminate it early. This should be exactly the thing I need to get me thru until I can either find a good job that I really want or get myself set up in something else entirely.

I've been really thinking about my career path and where I want it to go a LOT lately. With all my marketable skills I'd really like to try and get the hell out of the corporate world and work for myself. I certainly don't mind working like a Trojan but I'm exceptionally tired of doing it for someone else's benefit. It may end up taking multiple gigs at first and I may have to work long hours to accomplish it, but I see the benefits FAR outweighing the negatives. My last job got me my Texas State Notary so I'm going to start there and see…

Entertainment news: My way fun weekend!

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Now that I've given everyone the bad news, let me regale you with tales of a very fun weekend.

After spending all day Friday signing up for unemployment benefits, changing my status with my placement agencies, making phone calls about possible money opportunities, notifying friends and relatives (well, not all the relatives yet...I've been keeping my parental units out of the loop for now until I have a better plan) and generally stressing out, I definitely needed some distraction. So I started the weekend with Jules coming over and spending Friday night with us. We had such a good time together (as per usual) and it was awesome to have a good friend to hang with!

Saturday morning I got up at an unbelievably early hour to go pick up Brian and go to the Race for the Cure. We had a really good time getting all caught up and have already planned to do the Relay for Life in the spring together. I think I'd actually like to organize a group for this event so stay tuned for future…

Business news: My employment status

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This picture pretty much sums up the general feeling late last week for me and apparently for my now former employer. I had a very bad feeling on Thursday when I came to the full realization that I had officially had all my work duties removed from me. I even warned B last Thursday before we went to the fancy dinner that I had a feeling I might be getting fired on Friday. We had a very hard time wanting to make nice with everyone at the restaurant but I have to say that the food was amazing and it was extra nice to get it for free. Friday morning first thing (just as I predicted on Thursday night...man, I kinda hate being right about this), I got called into the bosses office and termintated without any reason given to me at all. Mark my words: I will never accept a full-time position in an office full of women again unless I already know and like the majority of them. Working in a female-dominated industry is not making me happy at all and I find it very hard to want to have to play …