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Showing posts from August, 2005

New Orleans, my love *sniff*

I can't even begin to express how devastating it has been today watching the city that I love so and want so badly to call home be destroyed. I feel such a sense of grief, almost as if a dear friend has encountered a horribly disfiguring accident. I don't even know what to do with myself right now.

Leonard Nimoy.....Sings?????

Can someone please tell me what in the world is up with this? Billy sent me this bizarre and surreal link today and I just don't know what to say about it. Comments are most welcome.

Rockin' Nimoy

Fetish List

Here's something y'all probably didn't know:

Acomoclitic - A preference for hairless genitals.
Acousticophilia - Arousal from (certain) sounds.
Acrophilia - Being sexual aroused by heights.
Acrotomophilia - Arousal by the activity/thought of having sex with an amputee.
Actirasty - Arousal from exposure to the suns rays.
Acucullophallia - Circumcision.
Adolescentilism - Playing the role of an adolescent.
Agalmatophilia - A fetish for statues/mannequins.
Agonophilia - Pseudo-rape, pretend struggle or wrestling play as a form of foreplay.
Agoraphilia - Arousal from having sex in public places.
Agrexophilia - Excitement from knowing that others are aware of a persons sexual activities.
Aischrolgia - The expression of obscenities.
Albutophilia - Arousal from water.
Algolagnia - Both Masochism and Sadism.
Algophilia - Enjoyment or arousal from pain.
Allopellia - Orgasm from watching others have sex.
Allorgasmia - The need to fantasise about a more desirable partner in order to orgasm.
Altocalciph…

More Jen Trivia

I'm stealing this one from El Capitan cuz it's fun and fluffy. Enjoy! :)

[X] I've run away from home.
[ ] I listen to political music.
[X] I collect comic books. (I used to anyway.)
[X] I shut others out when I'm sad. (Well, sometimes.)
[X] I open up to others easily.
[ ] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[ ] I watch the news.
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[ ] I own an I-Pod.
[X] I own something from Hot Topic. (Yes, lots of things.)
[X] I love Disney movies.
[X] I am a sucker for hair/eyes.
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[X] I curse regularly. (Like a sailor!)
[ ] I paid for that cell phone ringtone.
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[ ] I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation.
[ ] I love Spam.
[ ] I bake well.
[ ] I would wear pajamas to school.
[ ] I own something from Abercrombie
[X] I have a job.
[ ] I love Martha Stewart.
[X] I am in love with someone.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[X] I am self conscious. (Sometimes)
[X] I like to laugh.
[X] I smoke a pa…

George Clinton is the MAN!

We had a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity last nite to see Dr. Funkenstein himself at a small club in Addison. We even got into the VIP room and got to meet him briefly, woohoo! We got an autograph and a good pic of B and I with him...gotta get that framed for sure! Shelli went with us and she and I got our groove on all night. Our bad for not getting a group pic of us cuz we all looked funky and cute. Check out the pix:

Make My Funk the P-Funk!

Think I'll be listening to some more funk today at my desk, it should hopefully keep me awake since I'm sleep dep chick today...

Continuing Education

My Shelly sent me this one but I'm afraid that I'd be the one heading to these classes in my household, LOL! These are too good...

NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!!!
ALL ARE WELCOME

NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!!!

ALL ARE WELCOME
OPEN TO MEN ONLY


Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants,


The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:


DAY ONE

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with slide presentation

TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.

LOSS OF VIRILITY
Losing the remote control to your significant other - Help line and support groups

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming -…

Thanks for the chain mails...

This hit my inbox courtesy of my Mom-person today and I had to share...thanks Mel! :)

"I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your chain letters over the past two years.

Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your concern .....

I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

In fact, I avoid all sodas in cans because they might expose me to diseases from rat urine.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive pack…

The weekend was amazing!

We most definitely celebrated Cyndi's birthday in style this weekend!

Friday night was her bitchy event which we made coed to appease Randy's whining and also so that we could invite our favorite fags to it. We started at Monica's in Deep Ellum for a slightly over-priced Mexican dinner accompanied by a seriously loud band. We then were off in our bitchy attire to the one area of town where we wouldn't even be questioned: Oak Lawn. We attended the drag show in the newly remodeled Rose Room and at one point Cyndi's tiara ended up on stage. It looked *fabulous* in the stage lights! We adjourned to the girl bar afterwards and danced to hip-hop until almost 2 am. Wheeeee!

Saturday night we had the everyone event. We met at Pugsley's Library for dinner/drinks and then adjourned to a little place for some Norebong (Korean-style karaoke). They actually fed enough Soju (Korean vodka) into me to get me to sing, which is a frightening thing in and of itself. I firmly believ…

Light posting alert

Since we're going to be spending the weekend celebrating Cyndi's birthday, I'll probably be out of touch here. Get back with y'all on Sunday or Monday...hope everyone has a great weekend! :)

An actual post *gasp*

Yes, I know that I've been the poster of all things joke-like from my inbox lately and I hope it has kept you guys at least entertained. We've been going thru some growing pains in our household so it's been hard to want to share lately. Luckily it looks like we're actually going to survive and are on the other side of the worst of it.... *hope hope hope*

Once again my company has thrown me a curve ball by promising me something and then delivering it in such a way that it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Time to update the resume and see what else is out there, methinks. We're on 10-hour shifts from now thru the end of September so at least I'll have some overtime money as a consolation for cancelling my during-the-week social life. One nice thing I can say about my last job is that they compensated me financially for bending me over, although I still have no regrets about leaving there. I think I'll be a little more picky this time and won't jump until …

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational

Ohmifuckingawd, I actually laughed so hard at this that B got off the couch to come read it over my shoulder...thanks, Billy! :)

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners:

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realise it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the autho…

The Evolution of Math

Another gem from Chris in my inbox today. Thanks girl! :)

Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried. Why do I tell you this?

Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950's:

Teaching Math in 1950:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1960:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the
price, or $80. What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1970:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he
make a profit?

Teac…

The Theme for the Day is: Goth

Here's a couple of goth goodies that I found while cleaning out my old Yahoo account...enjoy! :)

Generate your very own vampire name:

The Vampire Name Generator

Here are my results:

The Great Archives determine you to have gone by the identity:
Giselle Vigée-Lebrun

Known in some parts of the world as:
Leto of The Banat

The Great Archives Record:
A true child of the night, making merry of everything and light of life.
_______________________________________

And a little song for everyone:

If You're Gothic And You Know It

If you're Gothic and you know it, dress in black...
If you're Gothic and you know it, dress in black...
If you're Gothic and you know it, then your clothes will surely show it,
If you're Gothic and you know it, dress in black!

If you're Gothic and you know it, be depressed...
If you're Gothic and you know it, be depressed...
If you're Gothic and you know it, then your angst will surely show it,
If you're Gothic and you know it, be depressed!

If you&#…

Write a Caption

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Here's another fun game for everyone:



Let's see what you can all come up with! :)

Which Holy Grail Character Are You?

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Ganked this one from Kurt! :)

Take the quiz: "Which Holy Grail Character Are You?"

The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog
That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!

Alcohol warnings

Maybe I should have had these *before* the birthday pub crawl, LOL!

Canadian liquor manufacturers have accepted the "Health Canada's" suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can si…

What's Your Policitcal Persuasion?

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As if this comes as a shock to anyone...




You Are a "Don't Tread On Me" Libertarian



You distrust the government, are fiercely independent, and don't belong in either party.

Religion and politics should never mix, in your opinion... and you feel opressed by both.

You don't want the government to cramp your self made style. Or anyone else's for that matter.

You're proud to say that you're pro-choice on absolutely everything!



What political persuasion are you?


Borrowed from The Cap'n, thanks honey! :)

Okay, menfolks, here's your excuse

Good things to know

Here's a handy little list that I got in my inbox today. Not sure how much of it is true but I thought I'd share. :)

THINGS TO KNOW

1. Budweiser beer conditions the hair

2. Pam cooking spray will dry finger nail polish

3. Cool whip will condition your hair in 15 minutes

4. Mayonnaise will KILL LICE, it will also condition your hair

5. Elmer's Glue - paint on your face, allow it to dry, peel off and see the dead skin and blackheads if any.

6. Shiny Hair - use brewed Lipton Tea

7. Sunburn - empty a large jar of Nestea into your bath water

8. Minor burn - Colgate or Crest toothpaste

9. Burn your tongue? Put sugar on it!

10. Arthritis? WD-40 Spray and rub in, kill insect stings too

11. Bee stings - meat tenderizer

12 Chigger bite - Preparation H

13. Puffy eyes - Preparation H

14. Paper cut - crazy glue or chap stick (glue is used instead of sutures at most hospitals)

15. Stinky feet - Jello!

16. Athletes feet - cornstarch

17. Fungus on toenails or fingernails - Vicks vapor rub

18. Kool aid to cl…

Posting without saying anything

I know that I haven't written a personal post in a couple of weeks now and it's been falling under the "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" rule. I've been deeply embroiled in personal/family drama and just haven't felt like sharing lately.

So here's some good things that have happened in the last week:

I've *finally* been relieved of my team leader status (thank the gods!) and have been moved into a job description that I, myself, designed for me. I will be starting my new duties this morning and I'm all kinds of excited about it! :)

My dad came into town this weekend and I got to hang with him a while. It was really awesome to see the old fart although the visit was far too short.

In other news, I heard a rumor that people are getting fired from their jobs for job blogging...can that be right? It makes me really really hesitant to post job stuff out here cuz I know that I definitely cannot afford to lose my job. Anyone…

Need some tension release?

Thanks to Billy for this link! Just the sound of this actually makes me feel less stressed out...

http://fun.from.hell.pl/2003-11-24/bubblewrap.swf

Speaking before you think

This is the kind of thing that could *so* easily happen to me. Thanks to Chris for sending me this! :)

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the testimonials of a few people who did....

1. I walked into a hair salon with my Husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.

2. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

3. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. …

This cracks me up!

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Billy sent this to me this morning and I promptly set it as my background and laughed at it all day long. I had to share: