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Showing posts from 2006

What's Going On With Jen?

I know it's been an age and a day since I did an update post so let me see if I can get everyone up to speed about what's been happening in my world...

I'm still doing a bunch of internal Jenni maintenance and it's definitely a work in progress. Is it me or is this just some kind of lifelong ongoing process? ;-)

My Girl is the BEST because as soon as she heard about those thieves at D/FW airport, she went out and not only replaced my favorite lighter but also got a backup just in case anything happens to it again. Gods, I love her so much!

My favorite new club night Panoptikon has been intermittent this month with private parties booking the club a couple of Saturday nights. I seriously hope this is a trend that isn't going to continue, but I'll still be supporting it until the bottom falls out. I love what DJ Lord Byron spins and he always manages to spin what I want to dance to. It makes me so happy. :)

Speaking of DJ's, my favorite Church DJ Angry Jon had hi…

The Night Before Christmas...Legalese. :)

I think this is going to be my last Christmassy post, but it was too funny not to share! Hope everyone had a very merry Christmas! :)

Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter "the House") a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to a mouse.

A variety of foot apparel, e.g. stocking, socks, etc., had been affixed by and around the chimey in said House in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick a/k/a St. Nicholas a/k/a Santa Claus hereinafter ("Claus") would arrive at sometime thereafter.

The minor residents, i.e. the children, of the aforementioned House, were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, i.e. dreams, wherein vision of confectionary treats, including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in said dreams.

Wereupon the party of the first part (sometime…

Happy Holiday to Everyone!

Here's the email I sent out to all my clients and business associates and I now share it with all of you. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season! :)

At this time of year, here are a few thoughts for you to consider:

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love!
~Hamilton Wright Mabie

“Christmas gift suggestions:
To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.”
~Oren Arnold

Perhaps the best Yuletide decoration is being wreathed in smiles.
~Author Unknown

Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much. ~Helen Keller

I hope whatever holiday you are celebrating this month that it's filled with light and love and family and friends. I'll close with a quote from my very favorite holiday special this time of year...

And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It…

All About Christmas :)

I got tagged by The Cap'n on a Christmas meme so here goes nothing! :)

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
Gift bags have saved my life since I'm Santa's "special" elf when it comes to wrapping. :)

2. Real tree or artificial?
If I'm going to have a tree, I prefer the real kind because of the scent. I also love to go do the Xmas tree farm thing where you tromp around and cut your own!

3. When do you put up the tree?
The last few years it's been a last-minute-oh-shit-we-need-to-put-up-a-tree thing so it's been the week before the holiday. In other years it would have been the weekend of Thanksgiving.

4. When do you take the tree down?
The weekend after New Year's.

5. Do you like eggnog?
Bleah, no way!

6. Favorite gift you received as a child?
Fur coat...yes I was a spoiled child so feel free to point and laugh at me. Does anyone else hear "Material Girl" playing in the background? ;-)

7. Do you have a nativity scene?
Nope, not my beliefs.

8. Hardest person t…

Yule Thoughts...

Here's one from My Shelly from a couple of days ago. Yule thoughts are always a good and happy thing. :)

Some thoughts for Yule:

December 21, 2006

A Season Of Slumber

Winter

In times past, the bare-limbed trees, long nights, and biting chill of winter signified to all that the time had come to slow down. Humanity emulated the animals, retreating into cozy dwellings where they sustained themselves on foods harvested late in autumn and passed the time in peaceful reflection. Today, most people proceed ruddy-cheeked through winter’s frosts, ignoring the profound effects cold weather has on their bodies and their minds. Yet the beauty and significance of wintertime cannot be so easily overlooked. As the temperature plummets, leaving the air crisp and the landscape bare, we tend to crave warmth and relish rich foods. The presence of loved ones seems more comforting when blustery winds rattle window panes and we feel compelled to conserve our energy by engaging in only the most soothing of a…

Closer's Christmas :)

Here's one that's been circulating around my industry this month that I thought was worth sharing. Teehee, real estate geek humor! ;-)

THE CHRISTMAS CLOSING

'Twas an hour before closing and the agents were tense,
to close Christmas Eve just didn't make sense.
But the seller was booked on the 6 o'clock flight
and had warned "THERE WILL BE A CLOSING TONIGHT!"
The agents agreed because business was dead,
and visions of commission checks danced in their heads.
The loan was approved by the lender's good grace,
Everyone knew 'twas a borderline case.
The buyers divorced, remarried again,
Divorced once more, and now were just friends.
The loan package complete to the closer was carried,
With instructions to close before they remarried.
The title policy arrived via UPS,
From page One through Sixteen, a terrible MESS!
An improper legal, 3 judgments, a lien,
But a few lines on page seven, looked pretty clean.
The title was cleared and the closing was set,
But to finish today w…

You'll Shoot Your Eye Out... :)

Here's one that B found for me...I've never wanted to go to Cleveland before now. ;-)

A Christmas Story House

Holiday Eating Tips :)

Here's another one from my Mom-Person that begged to be shared. :)

Holiday Eating Tips


1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if…

Christmas Carols For the Disturbed :)

I've actually gotten this one twice: Once from my Mom-Person and once from Billy. It had to be posted! :)

CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE DISTURBED

1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?
2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are
3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas
4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and.....
6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why
9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?
10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jin…

Rules for Regifting :)

I'm still cleaning out my inbox but am switching to a more appropriate theme for the upcoming holiday. Here's one my Mom-Person sent to me that I liked a lot.

12 rules for 'regifting' without fear

If you're going to do it (and it's more common than you think), please update the wrapping -- and remove the old gift card.

By MP Dunleavey

There are only three reasons you might be reading this column:

1. You think "regifting" is totally tacky, but you secretly hope there might be a polite way to get rid of that hideous scarf your Aunt Edna gave you.

2. You're a chronic regifter and you need some new ideas to get you through the holidays.

3. You've never heard of regifting. Really. You're just curious.

Welcome, one and all, to a frank discussion of a grand old holiday tradition we all practice and pretend we don't. (That includes you fibbers who picked No. 3!) Even Peggy Post, etiquette advice columnist for Good Housekeeping, admits she's done…

Pug Bowling :)

I overslept and only have time to post one this morning, but it's a classic. I got this one from Billy and it's a silly pet trick...check it out! :)

Pug Bowling

New Identity Theft Scam, Be Careful Out There! :-(

Here's a little warning sent to me by the Sperm Donor and verified at Snopes...

Here's a new twist scammers are using to commit identity theft: the jury duty scam. Here's how it works:

The scammer calls claiming to work for the local court and claims you've failed to report for jury duty. He tells you that a warrant has been issued for your arrest.

The victim will often rightly claim they never received the jury duty notification. The scammer then asks the victim for confidential information for "verification" purposes.

Specifically, the scammer asks for the victim's Social Security number, birth date, and sometimes even for credit card numbers and other private information -- exactly what the scammer needs to commit identity theft.

So far, this jury duty scam has been reported in Michigan, Ohio, Texas, Arizona, Illinois, Pennsylvania, Minnesota, Oregon and Washington state.

It's easy to see why this works. The victim is clearly caught off guard, and is und…

I Found This Gem Nestled in a Chain Email...

I got this good luck chain email from my Hippie Momma but I liked the list it had and thought it was worth sharing...

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.

FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don'…

A Summary of Last Year's Emails... :)

Got this one from the Sperm Donor and had to share. LOL! Ain't it the truth??

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer -causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I h…

Do You Recognize Them? :)

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Here's one from Joy-ful that I thought was totally amusing. Can you identify these young famous folks? Scroll down to the bottom for the answers...

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.

1. 1970 - Kris Kristofferson
2. 1967 - Mick Jagger
3. 1969 - Willie Nelson
4. 1967 - Clint Eastwood
5. 1970 - Bill and Hillary Clinton
6. 1972 - Bob Dylan
7. 1958 - Jack Nicholson
8. 1972 - Michael Jackson
9. 1940s - Barbara Bush
10. 1975 - Martin Sheen
11. 1969 - Robert DeNiro
12. 1970s - John Belushi
13. 1970 - Candice Bergen
14. 1981 - Dennis Quaid
15. 1973 - Christopher Walken
16. 1972 - Colin Powell
17. 1968 - Tommy Lee Jones
18. 1968 - Al Pacino
19. 1943 - J.F.K.

This is Pretty Geeky... :)

I got this from my Mom-Person's sweetie who is a monster geek for the Discworld series of books. I tell ya, someone must be a pretty big fan to have taken the time to make this cake. It's brilliant...and geeky...definitely worth checking out. :)

Discworld Cake

Movie I Must See!

Here's one that Crazy Eddie sent to me...methinks this movie will be a must see as soon as it's out! :)

http://www.thepetmovietrailer.com/

Warning: This preview contains nudity and elements of S&M. :)

No Parent Left Behind... :)

Here's one that Billy sent along and I had to share. I'm kinda scared of these people and a little afraid about the future of our society around this...

These are REAL notes written by PARENTS in a Alabama school district. (Spellings have
been left intact.) Most of them are funny, but some are just sad.

1-- MY SON IS UNDER A DOCTOR'S CARE AND SHOULD NOT TAKE PE TODAY. PLEASE EXECUTE HIM.

2-- PLEASE EXKUCE LISA FOR BEING ABSENT SHE WAS SICK AND I HAD HER SHOT.

3-- DEAR SCHOOL: PLEASE ECSC's JOHN BEING ABSENT ON JAN. 28, 29,30, 31, 32 AND ALSO 33.

4-- PLEASE EXCUSE GLORIA FROM JIM TODAY. SHE IS ADMINISTRATING.

5-- PLEASE EXCUSE ROLAND FROM P.E. FOR A FEW DAYS. YESTERDAY HE FELL OUT OF A TREE AND MISPLACED HIS HIP.

6-- JOHN HAS BEEN ABSENT BECAUSE HE HAD TWO TEETH TAKEN OUT OF HIS FACE.

7-- CARLOS WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE HE WAS PLAYING FOOTBALL. HE WAS HURT IN THE GROWING PART.

8-- MEGAN COULD NO T COME TO SCHOOL TODAY BECAUSE SHE HAS BEEN BOTHERED BY VERY CLOSE VEINS.

9-- CHRI…

Cat Humor :)

Still cleaning out the inbox today, yes it got completely out of control! :) Here's one that went out over the Dallas Goth List and I had to share...I actually laughed out loud while reading this. Hope y'all enjoy it!

Cats with Attitudes

I Know People This Would Work On...

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Here's a little funny from Billy that begged to be shared. Honestly, I'm not convinced that B wouldn't be in trouble if he ran across it... ;-)

Most Pointless Family Photo Ever...

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I got this one from the Sperm Donor and had to share. Can anyone actually tell the people in this picture apart??

Milk In Your Coffee? :)

I'm still cleaning out my inbox and found this gem from Brian from a while back. What would you do if this happened to you?? I'm thinking I'd be morally obligated to at least try the coffee... ;-)

Would you like some milk with that? (This is a large file and may take a minute to load, but well worth the time.)

A Very Good Prayer

While this falls under the category of religions-I-don't-participate-in, I still think it's a good thought. Thanks to my Mom-Person for sending this along. :)

Best Prayer I Have Heard In A Long Time...

Heavenly Father, Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.

Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.

Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.

Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the st…

The Ultimate Female Joke. :)

Here's one from My Sissy that's oh, so true! LOL!

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him. The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As all men will.)

Before she could offer her apologies for so rudely staring, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00...... on one condition."

Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly and meaningfully …

Dark Crystal 2...I'm So There!!!

I finally scheduled myself a few minutes to clean out my inbox and found this link from Billy. Since I absolutely adore the first Dark Crystal, it's a very safe bet that I'll have to check the second one out. :)

http://www.mtv.com/movies/news/articles/1542247/10032006/story.jhtml

My Whirlwind Disney Trip...

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Hello, everyone! I apologize for the intermittent (and then non-existent) blogging. As you can probably tell from My "Apologies and Promises" post, there has been some drama and crisis in my world. Thankfully things are much much better since I started taking my meds and I expect that they will continue to get better and better from here. Thanks for all your patience and love during this trying time. :)

So let me tell you about my trip to Florida to go see Mickey Mouse! I worked like a Trojan to get my work wrapped up so I could leave for a few days. We also celebrated a good friend's 40th on Saturday night before I left...partied late and got to ride in a limo, woohoo! Happy birthday Zaber!!

My flight left at 10:40 last Sunday so we had me to the airport by 9:00 just to be sure I would have plenty of time to get through security. As it turned out, security wasn't nearly as scary or time-consuming as we anticipated and I ended up having about an hour to kill in the fre…

Back From Florida...

Good morning, everyone! I've just spent the last few days hanging out with Mickey Mouse in Orlando which is why I haven't been blogging. I'll get to the recap post as soon as I can make some time but it might not be until this weekend. Love you all! :)

Apologies and Promises...

After an emotionally exhausting weekend, I've decided that I need to be on anti-depressants for the rest of my life and am committed to making a major change. I'm going to get my paperwork started at the sliding scale mental health clinic this morning, but have already tapped into my stash of Paxil to get things rolling.

My sincerest apologies to everyone that I've harmed with my depression through the years and especially those nearest and dearest to me. I never realized how many aspects of my life it has been affecting until now and what a burden I have been to those that love me. They say the best amends is living a good life so that's my new plan...that and redirecting the energy I've been using to fight my chemical imbalance into positive channels.

I'm really and truly hopeful for the first time in a long time and it doesn't feel like operating on blind faith either. :)

A Thanksgiving Funny For Y'all :)

Little Logan and his family were having Thanksgiving dinner at his grandmother's house. Everyone was seated round the table as the food was being served. When little Logan received his plate, he started eating right away.

"Logan, wait until we say our prayer," his mother reminded him.

"I don't need to," the little boy replied.

"Of course you do!" his mother insisted, "We say a prayer before eating at our house."

"That's at our house," Logan explained, "but this is Grandma's house, and she knows how to cook!"

Thanksgiving thoughts. :)

In honor of Thanksgiving, here are a few thoughts:

We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.
--Cynthia Ozick

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.
--William Arthur Ward

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.
--John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
--Erma Bombeck

Hope everyone has a wonderful holiday! :)

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity :)

My mom-person forwarded this to me a while back and I'm just getting around to posting it. Hope this makes you guys smile! :)

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity.

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go.&…

Global Orgasms? Interesting...

I found this on Army of Mom's blog and definitely thought it worth sharing.

The theory is that if we can synchronize a global orgasm that it will create a feeling of world peace and therefore promote that end. I think the logic is solid and I love a good orgasm so I may have to participate just because I can. LOL!

Here's the article for your reading enjoyment.

And here's the official site.

Fascinating...

Time For Another Jen Update! :)

Good morning, darlings! I'll bet you're wondering what we've been up to since we got home from N'Awlins...let's see if I can recap it for your reading enjoyment. :)

I've been working, but not as hard or as much, which is a blessing. They tell me this is the slow time of year which means that I'm probably going to be wildly out of control come January. I've got plenty to keep me busy right now though. I'm starting to feel a flow in my work load with things closing and new things coming up so hopefully I can start getting regular paychecks from here forward. It would be *very* nice to get out of debt and get some money back into our savings account! :)

We got a new manager at my job and we all had to go meet her last week. She seems nice, is definitely sales-oriented, and the other manager likes her so that's good news. I'm hoping that this company can continue to improve their internal systems and their compensation so that I'll be motivate…

Has Anyone Ever Heard of "Dusting"?

I got this in my inbox and it's verified with Snopes: http://www.snopes.com/medical/toxins/dustoff.asp. This is some scary shit right here...

First, I’m going to tell you a little about me and my family. My name is Jeff. I am a Police Officer for a city which is know nationwide for it’s crime rate. We have a lot of gangs and drugs. At one point we were #2 in the nation in homicides per capital. I also have a police K-9 named Thor. He was certified in drugs and general duty. He lives with us now and I still train with him because he likes it. I always liked the fact that there was no way to bring drugs into my house. Thor wouldn’t allow it; he would tell on you. The reason I say this is so you understand that I know about drugs.

I have taught in schools about drugs. My wife asks all our kids at least once a week if they used any drugs & makes them promise they won’t.

I like building computers occasionally and started building a new one in February 2005. I also was work…

New Passport Rules for "Local" Travel

New Passport Rules: A Driver's License Won't Do

In a post-Sept. 11 world U.S. citizens are constantly reminded that the global climate has changed, and the business of borders—even among North American neighbors—is getting more serious.

By AP Editors

If you're thinking of flying or taking a cruise in 2007 that will include destinations in Canada, the Caribbean or Mexico, you should plan to get a passport this fall.

Under new government regulations, by Dec. 31, travelers to and from the Caribbean, Mexico and Canada—plus Bermuda and Panama—will be required to have a passport to enter or re-enter the United States.

A year later, on Dec. 31, 2007, the requirement will be extended to all land-based border crossings as well.

This is a change from prior travel requirements under which you could go to Canada, Mexico or most Caribbean countries and re-enter the U.S. with a driver's license and birth certificate.

To find out how to get a passport, visit the State Department's trave…

Halloween Questionnaire

Hey everyone! A very good friend of mine is working on a new Halloween-themed screenplay and is looking for contributions from anyone and everyone of all ages. If you'd like to participate, answer the following questions as thoroughly as possible and email your answers back to jon@highlandmyst.com with the subject line of "Re:Happy Halloween and Some Questions". Feel free to repost this and pass it around as he's looking for lots of input. Thanks in advance for helping out! :)

1. Your age (or age range)?
2. Your favorite Halloween costume as a kid?
3. A favorite memory or funny story from Halloween as a kid?
4. Your favorite Halloween costume as a teenager?
5. A favorite memory or funny story from Halloween as a teenager?
6. Your favorite Halloween costume as an adult?
7. A favorite memory or funny story from Halloween as an adult?
8. Favorite Halloween decoration(s)?

Goth Decor :)

Here's a link that Kurt was sweet enough to send along to me. It's supposed to be a Halloween decoration but I personally would use them all year long...had to share. :)

Body Bag Bean Bags!

Drinking Humor :)

In honor of all the drinking we did in N'Awlins, here's some alcohol humor for y'all...

Five Levels of Hangovers

One Star Hangover (*)

No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 cokes and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.

Two Star Hangover (**)

No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

Three Star Hangover (***)

Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in yo…

N'Awlins...The Recap :)

Yes, children, I'm aware of how long it's been since I did a blog post. I have a good excuse though...we celebrated our anniversary locally and then left town for a long weekend to NOLA to *really* celebrate it. Since we've been home, I've been running to make up for lost time at work. :)

We drove this trip which turned out to be quite an adventure getting out of town. My "check engine" light had been on for a while but we had no money to do anything about it so I've been driving the baby car for a couple of months like that. I took it to my regular mechanic who ran the diagnostic and found out that it had something to do with the computer "brain" of my car and only the dealership could fix it. So last Wednesday morning I had my car into the dealership at 7am (yikes!) to try and get it corrected before we left town. They finally got around to my car in the afternoon (don't get me started on why I hate dealerships and why I never use them if I…

Everyone don't forget to VOTE today!!

Here's a repost from Kinky's myspace bulletin...

Friends and neighbors, we're down to the last hours and minutes of the campaign. Everything we have worked so hard for for nearly 2 years comes down to this: if the voters turn out in force, Kinky Friedman will be our next governor! Get out and VOTE!

This isn't going to be easy, but we can do it! We're not going to waltz to victory; we need to claw and scratch and fight for every single vote.

If you have already voted, thank you! You've taken the most important step in electing Kinky, but there's still more you can do.

Encourage everyone you know to get out and vote for Kinky on Tuesday. Offer to take someone to the polls who may not be able to get there on their own. Come by Austin HQ at 701 E. Ben White Blvd. and make some calls Monday or Tuesday between 10:00 AM and 8:00 PM. If you can't make it to HQ, call us at (512) 326-5465, and we'll set you up with some phone numbers to call on your own! You'…

Blessed Samhain to All!!

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On this wonderful day, I'd like to start by saying a very happy anniversary to my beloved hubby. I can't believe it's been two years since we jumped the broom and I still love you more and more every day. I really found someone as wierd as me to spend my life with and I'm so grateful I can't even begin to express it in words. A toast to you, my sweet.




For everyone else out there in blogland, I hope you have a wonderful holiday! Get lots of candy, dress up crazy and enjoy yourselves! And happy new year to all the pagans!!!

Love you guys!

Got My First Paycheck! :)

Just had to share with everyone that I finally got my first paycheck in the mail yesterday. I was so happy and relieved that I burst into tears and B hung it on the wall of the office so I can admire it. I can't tell you guys what a big deal this is!!! Love you all! :)

My Pimp Name. :)

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Found this on Torn Angel's myspace bulletin and had to gank it...

Your Pimp Name Is...
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For the Servers in My Life... :)

Happily stolen from Torn Angel's myspace bulletin.

Sometimes...it just needs to be said... This is funny, anyone who has been a server or is one will appreciate this!!!

Okay. Here we go...

1. IF you can afford to go out to eat... But you can't afford to tip... hey.. guess what.. you can't afford to go out to eat.

2. This is 2006 people. 10% is not acceptable anymore... standard tipping for GOOD service is between 18 and 20%...

3. Now. I understand that 10% is good enough for God... That's fine.. but this isn't church.. and you're not tithing.

4. PS- ordering a well done steak... which everyone in the south does... will constitute a longer ticket time.... you will be okay... if you wanted fast food, you should have gone through a fucking drive-thru...

5. It's really not necessary to snap at me or wave your hand in the air like your having a spasm or get up and follow me. I saw you, I acknowledged you, you saw me... hold the fuck on. and sit the fuck down. I am comi…