Raise Denied... ;-)
This one's from my buddy Keith, ain't it the truth! LOL!
I, the Penis, herby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge head first into everything that I do.
4. I do not get weekend or public holidays off.
5. I work in a damp environment.
6. I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
7. I work at high temperatures.
8. My work exposes me to diseases.
Thank you,
Penis
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the management has denied your request for the following reasons:
1. You do not work eight hours straight.
2. You work in short spurts and fall asleep after each work period.
3. You do not always follow orders from the management team.
4. You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen visiting other locations.
5. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
7. You do not observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing protective clothing.
8. You will retire long before you are 65.
9. You are unable to work double shifts.
10. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
11. And if that were not all, you have been constantly been seen entering and exiting the workplace caring two suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely, The Management
I, the Penis, herby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge head first into everything that I do.
4. I do not get weekend or public holidays off.
5. I work in a damp environment.
6. I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
7. I work at high temperatures.
8. My work exposes me to diseases.
Thank you,
Penis
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the management has denied your request for the following reasons:
1. You do not work eight hours straight.
2. You work in short spurts and fall asleep after each work period.
3. You do not always follow orders from the management team.
4. You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen visiting other locations.
5. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
7. You do not observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing protective clothing.
8. You will retire long before you are 65.
9. You are unable to work double shifts.
10. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
11. And if that were not all, you have been constantly been seen entering and exiting the workplace caring two suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely, The Management
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