Showing posts from May, 2006

Vote For My Friend's Band!

I've got some buddies who have been nominated for FW Weekly's best cover band and they need your votes! You can check out the band here:

Velvet Love Box home page
Velvet Love Box myspace page

Or you can just go vote for them here:

FW Weekly Ballot

You don't have to vote for any other bands on the ballot and I (and they) would appreciate your support! Thanks in advance!

How Jedi Am I?

Keeping with the Star Wars theme... :)

how jedi are you? :: by lawrie malen

Attention Star Wars Fans!

Ohmigawd, B found this while he was surfing around and I HAD to share. Imagine the phone call between the Emperor and Darth Vader discussing the destruction of the Death go click the link! LOL!

Vader Calls Emperor

Y'all have a wonderful weekend!

Never Argue With a Woman

Ganking this from Shang_Shi's myspace bulletin, LOL!

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you have all the …

Stop Blaming Myspace

I didn't write this, but I couldn't agree with it more so re-post it if you feel the same way.

Stop blaming myspace!!!!!!!

Anybody happen to catch Nightline last night on ABC? In case you didn't, one of the hot topics discussed was MySpace. It is no secret to anyone who reads the newspaper or watches the 6 o'clock news that MySpace has been in the limelight because of "sexual predators" trying to "abduct and corrupt" the youth of the world. To this I say bullshit! I see dozens of profiles a day showing 14 year old girls dressed like sluts, wearing four inches of make up and 32 layers of eyeliner, displaying their age as 18 years old and profile lines stating "Oh, I'm So Sexy" or "Hey There, Wanna Check Up On It?" Come the fuck on! The youth of today's world are already corrupt enough due to the undying need to be "older" than they really are. I seriously doubt there are tons of people on MySpace stalking "inn…

Thoughts On Life

This one's from Thia, my long lost friend who followed her heart to Colorado and seems to be very happy there. I miss her, but love her lots!

The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a…

The Sexual Dictionary

Here's one I stole from Army of's actually surprisingly correct. LOL!

Jenni --


100% kinky

'How will you be defined in the sexual dictionary?' at

Air Force One

Teehee, here's a little funny My Shelly sent me today. You know I had to share! LOL!

President Bush, First Lady Laura and Dick Cheney were flying on Air Force One. George looked at Laura, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy."

Laura shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills
out of the window and make ten people very happy."

Cheney added, "That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10
bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy."

Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, "Such big-shots back there. Hell, I could throw all of them out of the window and make 290 million people very happy."

30 Random Questions

Here's a fun little thing and then I'm headed to bed...I'll try to do an update post later today. Btw, this one's stolen from Kevin on myspace. Thanks Kev!

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
Thankfully no.

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coaster?
No way!

3. When's the last time you've been sledding?
You're assuming I live somewhere it snows...

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
With someone else, definitely.

5. Do you believe in ghosts?

6. Do you consider yourself creative?
Not really.

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Still not sure, think it may be the kid actually.

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Angie but I wouldn't kick either of them out of bed.

9. Can you honestly say you know ANYTHING about politics?
Only on the issues that I care about, but it's really not much.

10. Do you know how to play poker?
Kind of.

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Nope, I've gotten into the 30s but never two wh…

Happy Mother's Day!

Showing some love for all the mommies out there! Hope y'all are having a great day...I gotta go start making phone calls pretty soon myself. :)

Image borrowed from Off The Mark

For All the Bikers Out There

Ganked this from another one of Bobbie's myspace bulletins. Please everyone be extra aware of bikers on the road all the time. They have the most to lose in a wreck because they're unprotected by the shelter of a vehicle. :-(

For all who Know Motorcycle Riders

I saw you, hug your purse closer to you in the grocery store line.
But, you didn't see me, put an extra $10.00 in the collection plate last Sunday.

I saw you, pull your child closer when we passed each other on the sidewalk.
But, you didn't see me, playing Santa at the local mall.

I saw you, change your mind about going into the restaurant.
But, you didn't see me, attending a meeting to raise more money for the hurricane relief.

I saw you, roll up your window and shake your head when I drove by.
But, you didn't see me, driving behind you when you flicked your cigarette butt out the car window.

I saw you, frown at me when I smiled at your children.
But, you didn't see me, when I took time off from work to run toy…

Update Time! :)

In my last update post, I forgot to mention that B and I both altered our 'dos last weekend. He's got a modified hawk where it's long enough on the top that you can't really tell when his hair is down. It's super cute on him! I added some shorter layers which magically transformed my soccer mom 'do into something kinda rock-like and cute but still passable for a day job. I'll try and get some pix this weekend and post em...

I went back to working nights this week and will be doing it through the end of the month. Studying at this assignment is *much* easier than the last time I worked nights since I'm inside a building at a desk all night. I'm getting a lot of study time in and that's a wonderful thing indeed! Btw, speaking of the test, I got my letter from TREC today saying that I'm approved to take it now. I'm sooooooooo excited!!!

In the last week, I managed to get Lil Bro assimilated into the night security world. He starts working ton…

Swapping the Sexes :)

Ganked this one from my friend Bobbie's myspace's SO true! LOL!

What men would do if they had a vagina for a day

10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.

9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.

8. See if they could finally do the splits.

7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.

6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.

5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.

4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.

3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.

2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.

1. Finally find that damned G-spot.


What women would do if they had a penis for a day

10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.

9. Get a blow job.

8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.

7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at …

Here's Some Crazy Shit :)

My Shelly found this link and it's too wierd not to share. Love you guys! :)


Boycott Results

My buddy Brian sent this to me today and I had to share. LOL! I'll try to get to an update post this weekend... :)

On May 1st, as a result of the Mexican boycott, national retailers reported 4.2% lower sales for the day, with a 67.8% reduction in shoplifting.

Bill Maher Gets Big Points With Me

As I was doing my quick email/myspace check before heading to bed, I found this bulletin posted by my friend Elle. I had to pass it on. :)

These were Bill Maher's closing remarks on his show the other night.

"Mr. President, this job can't be fun for you any more. There's no more money to spend--you used up all of that. You can't start another war because you used up the army. The cupboard's bare, the credit cards maxed out.

"Now it's time to do what you've always done best: lose interest and walk away. Like you did with your military service and the oil company and the baseball team. It's time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or an astronaut?

Now I know what you're saying: there's so many other things that you as President could involve yourself in. Please don't. I know, I know. There's a lot left to do: There's a war with Venezuela, eliminating the sales tax on yachts, turning the space program over to…

Dear President Bush

I'm reposting this from my friend Elle's myspace bulletin because it *had* to be shared. I can't even begin to tell you how this issue, and the whole May 1 walkout thing pisses me off...

Dear President Bush:

I plan to migrate to Mexico with my family and extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border from the U. S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I know you can help with this.

I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here.

So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that I'm on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.

2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.

3. All government forms need to be printed in English.

4. I want my kids to be taught by English-…

Bad News? Teehee...

Billy send me this and I *had* to share! LOL!

You Know You're a Grown Up When...

Teehee, My Shelly made me feel my age today! LOL! Hope y'all enjoy... :)

~ Your potted plants stay alive.

~ 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.

~ You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.

~ You carry an umbrella.

~ You watch the Weather Channel.

~ Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook-up and break-up.

~ You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.

~ Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

~ You're the one calling the police because those kids next door don't know how to turn down the stereo.

~ You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

~ Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

~ You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's.

~ Sleeping on the couch hurts.

~ You no longer take naps from noon to 6:00 p.m.

~ Dinner and a movie: The *whole* date instead of the beginning of one.

~ MTV News is no longer your primary source of information.

~ You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.


Another Call to Arms

My Shelly sent this to me and I definitely think everyone should go send this message to their government. Please read the following and follow the link to take action! :)

I thought you might be interested in this League of Conservation Voters campaign to support the Energy for our Future Act, a comprehensive, bi-partisan bill that would help fix our energy problems and protect the environment. If you go to the URL below
you can check out what is at stake and send your own message directly to your Representative. Please take action today!

Take Action!

I Did It!!! :)

Unbelievable though it may seem, last night was my final night of real estate school. Woohoo! I can't believe I'm finished, it doesn't even seem real to me. Of course now I gotta get busy studying for the test so that I can hurry up and take it before information starts falling out of my head. :) Still tho, I'm really proud of me for finishing this thing I started, and am excited about getting onto my new career!

I'll do a full update post later some stuff I gotta get taken care of right now. Love you guys! :)

And While We're Protesting Things...

...please follow the link below and protest this silly amendment. Thanks to Brian for sending it along! :)

Sign this postcard that will be hand-delivered to your Senators
and Representatives this summer! Congress is considering the
discriminatory Federal Marriage Amendment and the Senate will
vote in June. HRC staff and volunteers will hand-deliver these
postcards to Senators on June 5. Take action today!

Sign This Postcard!

Protest the Cigarette Tax!

The state of Texas is trying to raise the cigarette tax another $1/pack later this year. Guys, I can't tell you how important smoking is to my mental health and there's no way that we could afford to continue to smoke if this tax goes through. Please please please, I beg of all of you, follow the link and send a letter to your politicians protesting this tax! Thanks in advance!

Find Your Representatives

Jack and Sally in 3D!

Ohmigawd, I'm definitely gonna hafta go back to the theater to see this one! Thanks to B for finding out about this...I'm thinking fun anniversary date! :)

Reasons Not to Drink With "Friends"

I must say that these types of things are not unheard of in my group of friends, it's never a good idea to be the first to pass out at a party! Thanks to Billy for sending these my way, they gave me a good laugh and brought back some fond memories. Thankfully there aren't any pix like this of me floating around out there. :)

And the Number One reason not to drink with "friends"...

Happy Beltane!

Hooray hooray it's the first of May, outdoor fucking starts today! Hope everyone has a wonderful holiday! :)